Germany Week 27

So let's see, what've I been up to this week?

The rest of Monday in Minden was a lot of fun. It was great to see other missionaries, we had a lot of fun playing Werewolf, Foosball, Tischtennis, and other stuff. It was nice. But then we were dumb, and the train and bus connections were dreadful, and we got back pretty late.

Tuesday - We went and did doors with PA in the evening. He had this salesy approach he wanted to try with us, where we do a super quick survey thing, and then tell them they've qualified for a Book of Mormon, and give them one before they have a chance to think about it and tell them we'll be back in a week to talk more about it. It worked out great when he was doing the talking - the people were friendly back, we had the most friendly rejections I've ever had, and made out a couple of appointments. Once we started trying it though, it was just like it always is. We were nervous and flustered and under stress, and that was reflected in people's reaction to us. Then we went back to PA's office and chatted about what we can do to improve and everything. The biggest thing he told us was just to relax, and have a much lighter approach (as opposed to heavier). Although that's definitely easier said than done, he gave us some good pointers, and the whole experience helped me to look up and to be more optimistic and hopefull about what we can do. I don't think I'll encorporate his survey approach, but I definitely will work on having that warm, causual, friendly, not-shaking-in-my-boots attitude in the approach. Seeing him doing that definitely made it feel more within reach to do it myself.

Wednesday we had Zone Conference, which was very nice. Elder Weitzel and I gave a Thema on Using Time Wisely/Setting goals and Planning, which I could definitely use some work on. So either the Zone leaders are inspired or they've been watching us. Altogether, it was a good day. Fun times were had. The candles were lit. Just kidding. There weren't any candles. The passive voice was just being used by Elder Cloward as a means of entertainment.

Thursday didn't have too much out of the ordinary. Actually it did. You see, on Monday, while we were playing in Minden, I got a call from a man who'd gotten one of our Nicole cards in his mailbox, so I made out an appointment with him for Thursday. It was super exciting. Elder Ririe recognized his name and we realized he was a former investigator we had tried to go by on a couple times. So we were pretty excited. When we got there, he looked at me, said, "You! Get out!" We looked at him very confusedly, then he asked me, "You know why you have to get out?" When I assured him I hadn't the foggiest notion, he said it was because I'd told him He couldn't have a wife. He then invited Elder Weitzel inside. Elder Weitzel explained that we couldn't separate, so then he told us to just both come in anyway. It was a very interesting appointment. He didn't remember the Book of Mormon at all, but he whipped out his copy of "Teachings of the Prophets: Joseph Smith" and reported that he had read it 3 times when we gave him the Book of Mormon along with a pamphlet about Joseph Smith. I'm not really sure if he's got both rockers on the ground, but we're going back tomorrow, so we'll see what happens.

Friday was a bit of a disappointment when I/E didn't show up for our appointment. Hopefully she just forgot. Of course, no one's answered the phone she called us from, which is the only possibility we have of reaching her. We'll keep trying it. And at the very least, she's got a Book of Mormon and knows how to contact us.

I'm gonna break the pattern by not saying anything specific about Saturday and Sunday. Bwahahahaaaa!

Another fun tidbit though, it snowed last night for the first time since I told you it snowed for the first time. It was a pretty light snow, but it's been cold enough that a tiny bit of it is still left outside.

1.Me being awesome on a path while doing some explore to find

2. Me closer up on a path doing explore to find

3 & 4. Some nice Explore to Find views

5. Elder Weitzel and I on the Barrow Downs

6. The Barrow Downs (Großsteingrab)

Well, anyway, I love you, have a beautiful week! You're great! You're wonderful! Chernobyl!

Germany Week 26

So I feel like there's really nothing super exciting that happened this week...
I/E/whatever I decided to call her got sick, but she called and rescheduled her appointment for this friday, so I'm still excited.
I had a Tausch with Elder McCallister again, he came to Bad Bentheim this time. It was a blast. We made an adventure of it. We went and looked inside some of the churches in Rheine. (Don't worry, we did missionary work too...) They were super awesome. So glad we decided to peek in. Though it always feels weird going into other people's churches as a missionary. But I love those churches so much. Then in the evening we had a delightful member lesson with the Thoms. We brought Berliners and Sis. Thom made sandwiches. It was marvelous.
Ooh! I just remembered that something actually did happen this week... It was just on Tuesday - that's like an eternity ago. So we went to Sis. A's house for our usual Tuesday eating appointment, and she asked us to move our car to make space for a friend she had coming. As we were moving the car, said friend walked up, and had parked elsewhere. After standing and chatting awkwardly with her on the porch for a few minutes, Sis. A came and let us in again. It quickly became pretty clear that she hadn't been expecting us to also be there, nor was she particularly comfortable with it. She was very friendly though, and made good conversation, so it was an enjoyable evening even if a little weird. It turns out she was a high school friend of Sis A's, and this was their first meeting since finding each other on facebook. We ate dinner, gave a spiritual thought, and explained the Book of Mormon a bit before we left. I feel like I maybe could've done more, but I definitely got the impression she was only listening to us to be polite. So then we left to let the two of them catch up.
Well, I believe that's all I'll write for this week. I hope you have a beautiful one. I know this is God's work, and I'm glad to be a part of it.

Germany Week 25

Let's see... what's exciting that happened this week.
Well, first off, Wednesday was the best day of my life. Not really,
but it was a really good one. I got to spend it in Minden with Elder
Popp! You see, Minden is on the way to Hannover by train, and Both
Elder Ririe and Elder Weitzel had to go to Hannover for Leadership
training, as they are both district leaders. So Elder Ririe and I just
switched places on the Train in Minden. The only sad part is that I
didn't get to do anything more than wave at Elder Ririe. But then I
had a marvelous time with Elder Popp. We chatted a lot, we made a nice
lunch, we went and had a nice fun member lesson, and we wandered the
streets of Minden. While making the rounds in the Innenstadt, we were
approached by a couple of very friendly Jehovah's Witni. I thought it
was interesting that they chose to mostly talk about what we believe
in common. She started out with, "You're mormon, right?" "You know, I
was very surprised to learn that you also believe in the Bible." And I
was like, yes, we believe very strongly in the Bible." Then she
bounced around from point to point, with scriptures, all of which I
agreed with. At one point she pulled out a scripture showing that
God's name was Jehovah, which I also agreed with, although we both
knew that she was thinking of God the Father, and I was thinking of
God the Son. But overall, it was a nice little chat, where she did
most of the talking. The other lady that was with her wasn't saying
much, so while the first lady was talking to me, Elder Popp explained
the Book of Mormon to the other, and made out an appointment to bring
her one. It was a pretty amusing situation, and I'm sure the passersby
were amused as well. But yeah, they seemed like very friendly people,
and it was a nice exchange.
Another Highlight in the week was teaching this girl I. Actually,
I'm going to call her E. Because I turns out to be a pronoun. Or
rather, I turn out to be a pronoun. We met in a cafe and gave a first
lesson. She was really engaged, she even took notes, and asked good
questions, and really seemed to be considering the impact that it
could have on her life. It was really great to teach her, and it was a
really good reminder of why I'm out here, and of the importance of
missionary work. And it's funny, because after her designation, I only
referred to her with pronouns.
I can't think of anything that was particularly entertaining, so I
think I'll be off. I love you, and have a beautiful week!
I know this church is true! I know it is Christ's Church and that it
is led by him through a Living Prophet. It is so humbling to know that
I am allowed to be a part of such a great and important work. I know
that is how God works. He calls the unqualified, and qualifies them
through the work. I've been thinking a good deal about the talk that
President Eyring gave in the Priesthood session about Priesthood
Preparation. I think he just did such a good job of explaining the
purpose of the priesthood, as well as, really, the process of life. I
actually shared that Talk with E (the boy, I believe I talked about
him last week....) My delivery was terrible, but I gave him a copy of
the talk, hopefully he reads it and gets something out of it.
Anyhoodles, I'll talk to y'all later. Tschüs!

Germany Week 24

Well, the first exciting thing that comes to mind about this week is
our eating appointment with the same family members of members that we
were with on New Year's Eve. I would like to announce to the world
that I have now officially eaten Zwiebelkuchen. It's good. It's also
pretty much how I imagined it. It's got a texture somewhere between
Quiche and funeral Potatos...

Anyway... The most exciting thing that happened to me this week was
while I was on Tausch with Elder Johnson, who was in Bad Bentheim with
me. Both of our appointments fell out, so we spent the whole time
doing doors and talking to people in the streets. Pretty late in the
evening we came across a woman and started to tell her about the Book
of Mormon. To my surprise, she was actually curious about it. We kept
talking for a little while and she said that she had been
investigating some different churches, but was frustrated with how
many there were and that she felt she had no way of knowing which if
any were right. We excitedly bore testimony that there is in fact a
way to know what is true; that as we pray and ask Heavenly Father if
the Book of Mormon is true and if Joseph Smith was a prophet who
restored the Church of Jesus Christ, The Holy Ghost will confirm to us
that it is. She asked if we had a pamphlet or an internet site, both of
which we gladly gave her. She didn't want to tell us where she lived
or make out an appointment until she'd read what we gave her, but she
knows our number and where our church is. I have no idea if she'll
call us. I have no idea if she'll visit the church. I have no idea if
she'll even read the pamphlet we gave her. But I did feel like she was
sincere. And for the first time in a very long time, I actually felt
good after talking to someone about the gospel. Actually, I felt great
- I even teared up a little bit. It was a little embarassing... I
don't think elder Johnson noticed though, and if he did it's not a big
deal - and I was able to compose myself by the time we got to the next
person. Part of what was so striking about the feeling was realizing
that it had been so foreign to me. That's something I should be
feeling everytime I attempt to share the gospel with someone, no
matter their reaction. And that made me realize that I'm much more
affected by people's reactions of brushing us off and treating us as
nuisances than I thought I was. I mean, I can understand them
perfectly well. If a couple of crazies came up to me and started
talking to me about religion, I would probably do the same thing. It's
so difficult to portray the significance of our message in those first
seconds of approaching someone. It makes me ask myself what I can do
better to help people recognize us for what we are. I guess the most
important thing is to have the spirit and to immediately bear
testimony through what I'm saying. But then the more open I am, the
more personal I am, the more it feels like every stranger who says no
is tearing my heart out. I guess that's part of what I'm so scared of.
I guess that's what it takes.

Another nice thing this week was during our weekly eating appointment
with the S family. The son, E, is 11, and he's super hilarious, and I
love him to death. He's having a rough time with the church though. A
little while ago he told Elder Ririe and I that he doesn't believe in
our stupid church anymore. He likes to heckle with us a lot as we're
giving spiritual thoughts and whatnot, which seems to me to be his
facade for his deeper questions. So we've been trying to answer his
questions and do what we can for him. Now nothing miraculous happened
this week, Elder Weitzel answered some of his questions quite well,
and boldly. He also asked E about preparing to become a deacon. E said
he didn't want to, but I felt like it was a great way to get him
thinking about it. We're going to continue forward with it. I found
myself very grateful to Elder Weitzel for the testimony he bore to E,
because I feel like it really got to him even if he tried not to show
it, and I care a lot about that kid.

Otherwise I've just been kind of chugging along through the week. I
know this church is true. I know that through practicing faith in
Jesus Christ and his atonement, we can be made whole. I pray to be
able to have that faith, and I pray to be able to share it.

Love you!

Germany Week 23

Let's see.... what've I been up to this week?

Well, On Tuesday I lost a companion and gained a new one. That was exciting. So we got up, I shipped Elder Ririe off to Minden in the morning, then spent a few hours with Elder Thom going by on inactive members and stuff. Except none of them answered. Then we went by this guy who was super friendly and who had been investigating the church, but stopped. He was glad to see us, we had a nice chat and said we're always welcome, but reaffirmed that he doesn't have any interest in "reading our bible" anymore. Then we went and picked up Elder Weitzel, who spent most of the rest of the day getting settled and getting accustomed with the area book and what not, but then we got out, did some doors, and had a little meeting with the Thoms about who all the members in the ward are.

Let's see... I'm trying to remember if anything else worthy of discussion happened during the week, but it's all just a blur in my mind. hmmm... Wednesday was District meeting... and then I'm sure we did something afterward too... Thursday... Friday.... Saturday.... This is kind of pathetic. Well, anyway, I know that we did stuff, but nothing is sticking out that even a little bit noteworthy. It was a pretty slow week, but it was a decent one.

Some stuff did happen on Saturday though. Like we finally got ahold of S again since we moved him a couple weeks ago - we went and rang his doorbell a few times, but he didn't answer, so we left, but then were just standing there nearby trying to decide where to go when he came out and let us in. Holy Cow did he deck out his apartment! He has a whole ton of new furniture, a TV, a fridge, a washing machine, anyway, it was really nice. I hope he can afford it somehow. He was in a good mood and it was good to chat with him. I gave him the Book of Mormon on CD as a present, so hopefully he'll enjoy listening to it.

Then in the afternoon we went to a members house for a nice meal. Well, actually the ones there were the members' son and brother, who aren't members, but they made great food and we had a fun time with them. Then we had to be in our apartment by 6:00, where we played a couple games, and I worked on my Papi's Tschüss Buch (That's like a scrap booky tribute to the time as companions... That was a terrible description, but hopefully you get the idea). Then I went to sleep a little after 10:30. Or at least I tried. It was fairly loud outside, but I eventually got to sleep. But then at midnight when everything exploded, I was of course woken up. But I was super groggy and confused and wounded that someone would do that to me. It was terrible. ;P But Yeah, New Year's Eve (Silvester) is a much bigger deal here than it is at home. This is a small city where there isn't as much, but the streets are still littered with tons of firework remnants and shattered liquor bottles.

Yesterday we had just an hour of church from 11:00 to 12:00, it was a really nice Testimony meeting. There were few people there, but it was nice.

Even though we'd had a really nice uplifting Testimony meeting, I was super grumpy last night, and I would sooner have downed a dozen shards o' glass popsicles than talk to anyone. But we dragged ourselves out anyway. Or rather, Elder Weitzel dragged me out. Or something like that. I actually helped drag myself out, but I was very resistant to talking to people. So we went out and put some cards in mailboxes, something that I was perfectly willing to do, and that gave me a little bit of time to get over myself, so then we went back to go make out an appointment with someone in the street. I was still grumpy, but I was a little bit more willing. Eventually we talked to an older couple who, though they made it quite clear that they weren't going to be convinced by us were at least cordial and a little bit curious. So we ended up talking with them for a little while. It turned out that the man holds a position in the nearby Evangelish (protestant) church. They were both of the opinion that everybody who believes in Jesus is right and that we ought to stop pretending we're more right than anybody. It was actually pretty funny how they would talk. He would start to say something, then his wife would just start up with something else, and they would keep talking at the same time. Eventually she ended up talking to me and he talked to Elder Weitzel. They didn't want a Book of Mormon, nor an appointment, but she said she would look at the website, and they invited us to come to their church, which I would actually love to, but theirs is at the same time as ours. The conversation had improved my mood a good deal, then we went and talked to some more people, and though we never did manage to make out an appointment, I was actually kind of happy by the end of the night. I found that I might've actually found a little bit of joy in the work. Anyway, the moral of the story is that I need an attitude adjustment. I know that the message that we carry to the world as missionaries is one of great joy, and I should be motivated to spread it just because I know the great happiness it can afford them even if they don't. But instead I've allowed myself to getting into this stupor of resisting the work because of my irrational fear of talking to people and from knowing that most of them are just annoyed by us and what I say typically doesn't get through to them anyway. And rather than giving up, I should be focusing more on having the spirit with me and being able to say that which will get through. And I should be happier dang it. How am I supposed to share the joy of the Gospel if I'm not partaking it myself. A very wise man once said that the gospel of Jesus Christ is like a cinnamon bun. It looks good, and it smells good, but until you take a bite of the good word of God, you do not know just how good it is. And the best part is, the gospel is way healthier than cinnamon buns.

I know this church is true. I know that it is the Church of Jesus Christ, in name and in deed. I know he leads it. I know that through its teachings, its ordinances, and their applications, we find true joy. I know that because I have felt it in the past. I feel it now too, but not to the extent that I ought to be, due to a lack of proper application. This Gospel is marvelous, but living it isn't easy. Christ tells us exactly how we can be happy, but knowing what we have to do isn't enough if we aren't trying to follow it. I also know that we'll never be able to do that perfectly in this life. That's why it's so much "better to look up." I know that as long as we are striving with faith to do these things, we can find so much joy, and know that Christ understands where we are, and he will support us and strengthen us as we look to him. I know it's important to be forgiving of myself, but equally important to not lower my expectations of myself. Sometimes that's a hard balance. Anyway, I don't mean to write a public exposee (sp?) on myself, but that's what's been running through my head. I'm grateful to be here as a missionary, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to improve.

I love ya, I hope you have a beautiful week, a nice new year, and a fantastic life.

- Elder Cloward